Colon Blow

“Colon Blow,” a prerequisite for a colonoscopy, a necessary evil when one reaches or passes the half-century mark. I was prepared to suck up the day of starvation and drink a gallon of the foul-tasting stuff, and endure the ensuing violation at the doctor’s office. After all I did lose 4 lbs. And I don’t care what age you are, 4 lbs is 4 lbs.
What I wasn’t prepared for was the fierce abdominal aches after the mini-operation. I thought that the doc had somehow blasted through my colon, but no, I had developed an ulcer.
And so it goes, hardly a decent healthy day for me since January 1, 2008. I’m now being treated for an H Pylori-induced ulcer. Fortunately, the doc handed over the meds, satisfied that this Dr. Mom was not a hypochondriac, I didn’t have to do a blood test for old HP. Apparently, there was a notation in my file from years back that the little bugger was a regular inhabitant of my own stomach or maybe duodenum.
The meds consist of two antibiotics, one acid reducer and Zantac. What a delightful cocktail. I’m now on week three of four and my mouth tastes only of metal. Doc tells me that I that I have to go on Prilosec for one full month after the cocktail is done. Oh, and did I mention, that yes, I got a yeast infection.? Oh joy! Thank God for flagicil or whatever it’s called. The inventor of this one-pill-therapy deserves a gold medal. I well remember the 7 days of sticking a gooey white mess up my vajayjay. Yeugh!
And so it goes. Today is Good Friday. Life could be a hell of a lot worse!